10.24.08

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day that makes life feel breathless, and leaves you feeling like you are already dead, but still able to walk around and watch the other zombies of the earth, and wonder if they're feeling the same. Accumulating all of 60 degrees Fahrenheit, the day was cold, and not to forget to mention the absolutely freezing, wet bullets the smashed into the earth ...all...day...long. Yes, today was miserable. I woke up wanting to drowned myself back into unconsciousness. I could hear the rain falling outside of my window in its clear, relaxing way - the dribble of wetness that sings you back to sleep. As I got dressed for my day I could already hear the aching voice inside my head telling me to fill the emptiness that sulked deep within my body. Food has always been an obsession. Usually, I can ignore the screaming within me, but on dreary days like today it is hard to escape the voice. I put on my clothes once I could decide what I felt like wearing. I finally chose a rose colored turtle-neck sweater and jeans. As usual, I slung on my pink Columbia jacket and headed out the door, grabbing my black, deformed umbrella on the way out. As soon as I stepped outside I knew the day would be a nightmare. The wind was blowing so hard it nearly knocked me over. It was wet, cold, and worst of all - my umbrella kept turning inside out due to the massive wind strength. I crossed the street towards the bus that would deliver me to campus. The bus was packed, of course, leaving my squished in between two people. English class went by very fast because I had my nose stuck in my book, "New Moon" the entire fifty minutes. Next trip - Sociology - Education Building. The weather had not changed once I made it to the outside again. The next couple of hours went by fast. I went home, thought about food, and read my book. My mood grew grumpier as the day went on. I did go eat lunch with my friend Alex though...that was fun.

I binged tonight to cut my story short, and I hope tomorrow is better.